Code of Conduct: Guests
Last Updated: June 20, 2019
Simply: Be kind to one another.
In building community through the ritual of Shabbat dinner, this is one of the most important practices. This Code of Conduct is meant to ensure that all users of the OneTable platform and participants of OneTable events feel welcome and safe. Our platform is dedicated to facilitating a positive, welcoming Shabbat dinner experience for folks 21-39ish and not in undergraduate programs. This is a living document, evolving with the needs of our community, meant to help guide you in understanding how best to be kind.
Please read our Code, based on our core values, and follow both the word and spirit of it, keeping in mind that each of us is an important part of community-building and Shabbat-celebrating. It is crucial to our mission that each person feels respected and that everyone comes to each OneTable associated space with their best intentions.
Please also read through our full Terms and Conditions, which you must agree to in order to use the OneTable website or app.
Community building is made possible in safe environments. We take safety very seriously. A host has the right to ask you to leave at anytime.
- We do not tolerate harassment or disrespect of OneTable participants or staff in any form. Nonconsensual sexual language and imagery is not appropriate for any OneTable event, including Shabbat dinners, Nosh:pitalities, and social media. OneTable participants violating these rules may be banned from using the OneTable platform at the discretion of OneTable staff.
- We do not tolerate discrimination or disrespect related to gender, gender identity and expression, age, sexual orientation, (dis)ability, mental health, physical appearance, body size, race, ethnicity, religion, technology choices, Jewish knowledge, practice, and ritual (or lack thereof).
- Absolutely no threats to cause harm will be tolerated.
- Any of the following are prohibited: intimidation, stalking, following, nonconsensual photography or recording, sustained disruption of conversation, inappropriate physical contact, and unwelcome sexual attention. Also: Sexually explicit, racist, ableist, transphobic, and other derogatory comments; unwelcome comments about your appearance, accent, sexuality, etc; leering, making vulgar gestures, flashing you, or exposing oneself; threatening to remove an item of clothing; following you or blocking your path.
- Be responsible with the consumption of alcohol. Inebriation is not an excuse for violating any of these rules.
Holiness / Separateness (Kedusha)
At OneTable we take Friday night out of our weeks and dedicate it to Shabbat dinner. It is a different experience than all other nights and there should be intention to each dinner and what you bring to the table as a dinner guest.
Inclusive Community (Kvod Ha’briot)
All styles of Jewish practice are equally valid and honored, and all are welcome regardless of religion, race, sexual or gender identity. While Shabbat offers quiet meditative moments, Shabbat dinner is an essential social gathering. We cherish the differences among the Jewish people, and OneTable provides support that allows for the practice of ritual according to varying interpretations and understandings.
Every Jewish person and Shabbat dinner attendee is unique; we all celebrate Shabbat differently. That being said, please respect the wishes of the dinner host. If it is a kosher dinner, do not bring any non-kosher foods. (Need help finding kosher options? Email your Field Manager!) If you want to guest at a kosher meal, please look for dinners on our platform that offer a kosher experience.
There may also be different (or fewer, or more) Shabbat rituals observed at the dinner than you’re used to. That’s the joy of building community! Please be respectful of others’ rituals, and while you can offer to add your own, don’t force your own rituals onto the host and fellow guests. Proselytizing is not permitted.
Ending your week with intention with good food and good friends is good for you. The OneTable model invites a healthy cultural shift, a focus on making a commitment, planning ahead, and crafting with care. From menu planning, to table settings, to warmly worded invitations, Shabbat is a time to gladden the eye as well as the spirit. Feel free to reach out to your hosts prior to the dinner and ask what you should bring or how else you can help set the intention.
Enduring Practice (Kevah)
Practicing Shabbat is a tool for marking time, especially for young adults experiencing transition. Taking ownership of family traditions, or creating new ones, can be a powerful inspiration for young adults as they develop their own customs. A Shabbat dinner practice evolves throughout life, shifting to changing needs and lifestyle while also providing a steady, grounding ritual. Learn from one another, engage your fellow guests and hosts in conversation about their favorite rituals and learn about what you can add to your own practice, or offer to others.
OneTable encourages you to attend Shabbat dinner using our platform and app once a week and host your own through us once a month. If you’re interested in hosting for the first time, check out the simple process here.
Welcoming Guests (Hachnasat Orchim)
Arrive on time, leave when the event is over (some of us are talkers, we get that, but hosts are tired after putting together such great events). Offer to help, but don’t try to take over. Make room for other guests in the conversation, some people are shy and just need some time to join in. Or, go a step further and invite people into the conversation if you notice that they are quiet.
Perhaps the most important piece of all: joy. Shabbat can be a time for meaningful dialogue, but it should also always be joyful. Enter each OneTable space with your best intentions, your best self, and build joy with the others at the table.
- Who does this Code apply to?
All users of the OneTable platform, whether they are guests, hosts, Nosh:pitality participants, or other OneTable sponsored event attendees. (Please see the host specific code here.)
- Can I sign up for multiple dinners on the same night?
Even if you can teleport, we restrict sign-ups to one dinner per Friday. That way you can focus your energy on being the best guest possible. Requested seats at multiple dinners? Cancel the ones you’re not attending.
- Need to cancel your attendance?
Let your host know 48 hours prior to dinner.
- What about political dinners?
OneTable encourages you to bring the joy of Shabbat dinner to the causes you care about. However as a 501c3, OneTable resources may not be used for partisan political activities, including supporting or opposing a political party or organization and supporting or opposing candidates for public office, or specific legislature.
- What if I have a OneTable Code of Conduct question?
Please don’t hesitate to reach out! If you have a specific situation you’d like to discuss, reach out to your Field Manager. For Code of Conduct specific questions, please email help@OneTable.org.
- Who does this Code apply to?
For more tips to being a great guest, please read the OneTable blog.