Code of Conduct: Hosts
Last Updated: September 27, 2017
Simply: Be kind to one another.
In building community through the ritual of Shabbat dinner, this is one of the most important practices. This Code of Conduct is meant to ensure that all users of the OneTable platform and participants of OneTable events feel welcome and safe. Our platform is dedicated to facilitating a positive, welcoming Shabbat dinner experience for folks in their 20s and 30s who are not in college and are not parents. This is a living document, evolving with the needs of our community, meant to help guide you in understanding how best to be kind.
Please read our Code, based on our core values, and follow both the word and spirit of it, keeping in mind that each of us is an important part of community-building and Shabbat-celebrating. It is crucial to our mission that each person feels respected and that everyone comes to each OneTable associated space with their best intentions.
Please also read through our full Terms and Conditions, which you must agree to in order to use the OneTable website or app.
Community building is made possible in safe environments. We take safety very seriously. As the host, if a guest makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, you have the right to ask them to leave – it’s your home.
- We do not tolerate harassment or disrespect of OneTable participants or staff in any form. Nonconsensual sexual language and imagery is not appropriate for any OneTable event, including Shabbat dinners, Nosh:pitalities, and social media. OneTable participants violating these rules may be banned from using the OneTable platform at the discretion of OneTable staff.
- We do not tolerate discrimination or disrespect related to gender, gender identity and expression, age, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, ethnicity, religion, technology choices, Jewish knowledge, practice, and ritual (or lack thereof).
- Absolutely no threats to cause harm will be tolerated.
- Any of the following are prohibited: intimidation, stalking, following, nonconsensual photography or recording, sustained disruption of conversation, inappropriate physical contact, and unwelcome sexual attention. Also: Sexually explicit, racist, ableist, transphobic, and other derogatory comments; unwelcome comments about your appearance, accent, sexuality, etc; leering, making vulgar gestures, flashing you, or exposing oneself; threatening to remove an item of clothing; following you or blocking your path.
- Be responsible with the consumption of alcohol. Inebriation is not an excuse for violating any of these rules.
Holiness / Separateness (Kedusha)
At OneTable we take Friday night out of our weeks and dedicate it to Shabbat dinner. It is a different experience than all other nights and there should be intention to your hosted event. We award grants and nourishment credits to help you build community around the Shabbat dinner table on Friday night and trust our hosts to fulfill that expectation and not attempt to receive or use funding for any other purpose.
Any unapproved use of granted OneTable funds will result in a permanent ban from the OneTable platform, and bad karma. If a dinner listed on the platform does not comply with our rules, it will be removed by a OneTable employee. If the host creates a second event on the platform that does not comply with OneTable’s rules (e.g.: dinners must be on Friday night), that host will not longer be allowed to host through OneTable.
Inclusive Community (Kvod Ha’briot)
All styles of Jewish practice are equally valid and honored, and all are welcome regardless of religion, race, sexual or gender identity. While Shabbat offers quiet meditative moments, Shabbat dinner is an essential social gathering. We cherish the differences among the Jewish people, and OneTable provides support that allows for the practice of ritual according to varying interpretations and understandings.
Every Jewish person and Shabbat dinner attendee is unique; we all celebrate Shabbat differently. That being said, please explicitly express the needs of your dinner on the platform. Is it a kosher/vegetarian/gluten-free meal? Mark that under food restrictions so your guests know what to expect and what is acceptable to bring. Is your house accessible or not? Tell guests how many steps up to your front door, if there are grab bars in the bathroom, whether the hallways are too narrow for wheelchairs, if your elevator is broken, etc.
There may also be different (or fewer, or more) Shabbat rituals observed at the dinner than your guests are used to. That’s the joy of building community! Please be respectful of others’ rituals, and consider asking guests if they would like to add their own to the event.
Ending your week with intention with good food and good friends is good for you. The OneTable model invites a healthy cultural shift, a focus on making a commitment, planning ahead, and crafting with care. From menu planning, to table settings, to warmly worded invitations, Shabbat is a time to gladden the eye as well as the spirit. Feel free to reach out to your guests prior to the dinner and tell them what they can bring and what would help to set the evening’s intention. Reach out to your hub manager or coach if you need help!
Ownership / Authenticity / Wisdom (Chochma)
OneTable provides educational opportunities and resources for emerging adults to explore the celebration of Shabbat as a gateway to deeper understanding of Jewish thought, Jewish life, and Jewish values. Empowered by tradition, you as a host can create Shabbat dinners that reflect your personal style and interests. Choose the interpretation/reinterpretation of Judaism and the connection to Jewish meaning, history or people that feels authentic to you.
Enduring Practice (Kevah)
Practicing Shabbat is a tool for marking time, especially for young adults experiencing transition. Taking ownership of family traditions, or creating new ones, can be a powerful inspiration for young adults as they develop their own customs. A Shabbat dinner practice evolves throughout life, shifting to changing needs and lifestyle while also providing a steady, grounding ritual. Learn from one another, engage your guests and fellow hosts in conversation about their favorite rituals and learn about what you can add to your own practice, or offer to others.
OneTable encourages you to attend Shabbat dinner using our platform and app once a week and host your own through us once a month. Invite those you’ve met at your other dinners, and ask them to invite their friends who haven’t been to a OneTable dinner yet.
Welcoming Guests (Hachnasat Orchim)
Hospitality is deeply rooted in Jewish tradition; creating warm, supportive dinners is a way to welcome others. Make sure your hosting space is ready to bring your guests into the Shabbat mindset. Send a reminder email to let your guests know what to expect, and help them arrive in the Shabbat mindset you’ve worked hard to create. Introduce yourself to each guest as they arrive and introduce them to each guest who has already arrived. Consider using name tags or place cards for larger events to help everyone learn each other’s names.
Perhaps the most important piece of all: joy. Shabbat can be a time for meaningful dialogue, but it should also always be joyful. Enter each OneTable space with your best intentions, your best self, and build joy with the others at the table.
- Who does this Code apply to?
All users of the OneTable platform, whether they are guests, hosts, Nosh:pitality participants, or other OneTable sponsored event attendees. (Please see the guest specific code here.)
- What about political dinners?
OneTable encourages you to bring the joy of Shabbat dinner to the causes you care about. However as a 501c3, OneTable resources may not be used for partisan political activities, including supporting or opposing a political party or organization and supporting or opposing candidates for public office, or specific legislature.
- What if I have a OneTable Code of Conduct question?
Please don’t hesitate to reach out! If you have a specific situation you’d like to discuss, reach out to your Hub Manager. For Code of Conduct specific questions, please email help@OneTable.org.
For more tips to being a great guest, please read the OneTable blog.